From the Archives..

I was digging through my archives, which is basically a folder on my computer where I saved anything that was emailed to me that I thought was remotely funny.. I randomly picked one and decided to post it here.. for your enjoyment:

The Woman's Guide to Life

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

2. We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

3. Some days are a total waste of makeup.

4.Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

5. If the shoe fits, buy it in every color.

6. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

7. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

8. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

9. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

10. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

11. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.

12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

13. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

14. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

15. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

16. By the time you can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.


And, my personal favorite:

17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.