look out.. I'm about to rain on your sunny day

so here it is, a beautiful saturday morning in May.. and what am I doing? sitting in front of my computer, working a job that I can't f-n stand... I've no way away from it.. I'm stuck.. I hate it.. just goes along with all the other crap that I'm stuck with.. I'm almost to the point where I'm ready to say screw it, and pack it in.. shut the computer off, throw the dialysis machine out the window.. and wait... i've felt like this twice before... the first time, I got a kidney before it got too bad... the last, a certain TV show host gave me something else to look forward to.. well.. I need something now... I know the way I feel isn't normal.. but whenever I try to get home from someone, they ignore me.. and they've been doing it for YEARS... you can only go so far before you totally lose your sanity.. and I know I'm close to the breaking point.. I want to stop it before I get to far.. I guess that just shows that I'm not too far gone yet.. if I know I've got a problem.. just can't seem to get anyone to help me fix it.. I would have quit the job months ago.. but, I've got people telling me to keep it.. I'm tired of being tired.. I'm tired of being sick.. I'm tired of working a job I hate.. I'm tired of doing all this stuff I don't want to do.. all I want to do is rest.. enjoy life.. I haven't had much of a chance to at this point...